It is very difficult to live for people who take the events of our turbulent life to heart. They worry about little things that do not require special attention. Constant experiences, nervous tension deplete the body. This leads to frequent diseases, especially in the gastrointestinal tract and cardiovascular system.
Many people often suffer from inner experiences. In the people it is customary to call such people "taking everything to heart."
In fact, the phrase is much closer to reality than one might think. For them, life situations necessarily have negative sides. Psychosomatics shows that such people make something global out of any event, which in its essence already looks intimidating. Therefore, it affects the heart and nervous system.
In principle, such people often experience and beat in their minds even that which has not happened yet. Such programming for unrest does not lead to good. To their own detriment, the “cores” consider not only their own life situations, but also the problems of friends, neighbors, and relatives. They worry, feel sorry for someone, cry. Sometimes the problem lies in the fact that these people are afraid to be alone.
The behavior of such personalities is perfectly reflected by the winged expressions “a stone in the heart”, “the heart bleeds”, “the heart broke off” and many others. The position of the victim is harmful to the psyche and health. Therefore, these phrases should be excluded from the lexicon, stop reading intense stories.
Philosophers say, "This too shall pass." Indeed, much of what brings excitement and fear, after a period of time, causes only laughter.
How not to take everything to heart
It is hard to imagine that this needs to be learned. Psychologists offer a technique that has four steps. It is similar to the methods of Buddhist monks.
You need to learn to abstract from time and space. You need to learn how to meditate. Devote yourself 5-10 minutes, imagine yourself lying on your bed, if there is an opportunity to lie down, then you can do it.
You need to try not to think about anything for a while. Drive all thoughts away. After you calm down a bit, you need to get to work. Complete the tasks in order, and do not grab everything at once.
The second step is concentration. It could be an object, a sentence, or just a breath. The next step requires focusing on your feelings.
It is important to learn how to set priority goals, this is the fourth step. Do everything thoughtfully, clearly and calmly. If you begin to feel nervous, start breathing deeply, but not often, otherwise your head will begin to spin.
And connect humor more often... It helps to avoid many undesirable things... "Where the thought is directed, energy is directed there." When we think badly about a subject, we reinforce its negative side, when we think well, we reinforce its positive side. So everything is in your hands.
Video to help you regain your peace of mind
We connect the Silva Method and calm down:
How to get rid of fears:
How to stop worrying about trifles:
Take to heart TAKE TO HEART. TAKE (CLOSER) TO HEART. Razg. Express. 1.
Feel strongly about something, giving too much great importance anything. - Ruining… Robbery…” he groaned in a hollow voice, falling helplessly into an armchair and closing his eyes. “It seems to me that you take various trifles very close to your heart,” remarked Polevodov, lighting a cigar.(Mamin-Sibiryak. Privalovsky millions). 2.
Be overly interested in something. [ Vronsky] of all vital interests, he took to heart the interests of the regiment and the comradeship(L. N. Tolstoy. Anna Karenina).
Phrasebook Russian literary language. - M.: Astrel, AST. A. I. Fedorov. 2008 .
See what "Take (close) to heart" is in other dictionaries:
take to heart
Take to heart- what. Razg. Attach great importance to smth., worry about smth., react painfully to smth. SPP 2001, 69 ...
take to heart- Treat with great sympathy, be very worried ... Dictionary of many expressions
take it to heart- take / take to heart 1. Worry a lot, worry about someone. From noun. with meaning faces: buddy, director, teacher… takes to heart what? worries, problems, worries… Dear Masha! You are… all exhausted by your… … Educational Phraseological Dictionary
TAKE TO HEART. TAKE (CLOSER) TO HEART. Razg. Express. 1. Feel strongly about something, attaching too much importance to something. Ruining… Robbery… he groaned in a hollow voice, falling helplessly into an armchair and closing his eyes. To me… …
Take / take [close] to the heart (on the heart)- 1. what. Psk. The same as taking it to heart. POS 2, 153; POS, 3, 169. 2. whom. Arch. To love someone l .. AOC 4, 83 ... Big dictionary of Russian sayings
take to heart- take / take to heart 1. Worry a lot, worry about someone. From noun. with meaning faces: buddy, director, teacher… takes to heart what? worries, problems, worries… Dear Masha! You are… all exhausted by your… … Educational Phraseological Dictionary
take to heart- take / take to heart 1. Worry a lot, worry about someone. From noun. with meaning faces: buddy, director, teacher… takes to heart what? worries, problems, worries… Dear Masha! You are… all exhausted by your… … Educational Phraseological Dictionary
What. Express. Feel strongly about something; take that to heart. [Princess:] I don’t know, dear Marya Ivanovna, but it seems to me that you take everything to heart too much (L. N. Tolstoy. And the light shines in the darkness) ... Phraseological dictionary of the Russian literary language
Press to the heart- Kar. The same as taking it to heart. SRGK 2, 40 ... Big dictionary of Russian sayings
Books
- From the heart. How to listen, support, console and not waste yourself, Sand I .. Surely you have happened more than once to be a "vest" for friends and relatives, when all the emotions that overwhelm the interlocutor are literally poured on you. As a result, it becomes easier for him. And you? Here ... Buy for 356 rubles
- From the bottom of my heart How to listen, support, console and not waste yourself, Sand I .. Surely you have happened to be a “vest” for friends and relatives more than once, when all the emotions that overwhelm the interlocutor are literally poured on you. As a result, it becomes easier for him. And you? Here…
Human life is filled with stress. These are natural processes that determine the rhythm of life, the constant development of society and technology, relationships with people throughout this life. Psychologists often joke: "If you have no problems, check if you have a pulse."
Of course, throughout the time allotted to a person, he is forced to adapt. For some, this is easier, but for some, difficulties can become an exorbitant burden. Someone can easily repulse the offender, and someone will scroll through what they heard in their head for a long time, getting upset and driving themselves into a dead corner of their own experiences. Familiar? Then you should learn how not to take everything to heart, and, finally, learn how to live happily.
Psychologists about sensitive people
People who take everything to heart are considered to be emotionally labile in psychology. This means that they are characterized by a fairly quick change in mood, they can change from the highest degree joy to deep despair even for one day. They are more sensitive to stimuli - both physical and psychological. The inner world is very rich, fantasy and imagination are developed.
AT Everyday life they are often good-natured people who will always respond to a request for help, even to the detriment of their own interests. This is due to the fact that approval from others is very important to them. The same feature often plays a cruel joke with sensitive people, because in life there are not always those who came with good intentions and will repay good for good.
Vulnerable people are more attached to others, and therefore the breakup of relationships is experienced by them especially bitterly and for a long time.
The reason for the increased sensitivity to changes in life may be the type of temperament. More often these are melancholics, who react very brightly to all external stimuli. Many of them are creative individuals.
Such an emotional constitution has its origin in heredity and is the finished result of upbringing and living conditions. This means that it is still possible to be more resistant to life's difficulties, if only you knew how. You can learn to stop taking everything to heart by working on yourself.
how it works?
Perhaps everyone knows the statement that all diseases are from nerves. Any emotional state in a certain way affects the physical well-being of a person. And in order not to appear (diseases of the body, provoked by the psychological state of a person), you need to learn to manage your feelings and emotions. How not to take everything to heart?
A person can control not only the movements of the body, but also the train of thought. Therefore, the most in a simple way to remove the surging negative experience may be the answer to the question of whether this will be important in a year. And after 5 years? Thus, a person can figure out how large this problem for him.
How to get rid of negative experiences?
If everyday stress has already become a part of life, and, waking up in the morning, a person mentally prepares himself for the worst, you should seriously think about auto-training. This is the same way of self-hypnosis, self-tuning, only for the best. According to the principle "I am the most charming and attractive." Only in this case, you need to choose your own option - "everything is fine", "I am calm", "there is always a way out". Indeed, there is a way out of any situation. It just doesn't always suit the person completely.
Relaxation is another way to channel and control emotions. She will show you how not to take problems to heart and stay in a good mood. Here everyone can choose the most pleasant way for themselves - meditation, listening to soothing music or sounds, breathing practices or yoga. Or all together. The main thing is regularity. Auto-training and relaxation are excellent alternatives to medical intervention, because they help to cope with the source of the problem - negative thinking, and not just "pacify" physiological reactions to stress, as sedatives do.
How to properly respond to the words of others?
So, how not to take words to heart? First of all, you need to learn a few important points that touch both sides of the dialogue.
- One of the paradoxical pieces of advice given by psychologists is the following: “Offended? unreasonable criticism is a manifestation of the personality traits of the offender himself.He may be poorly educated, be in a bad mood, or try to shift responsibility for his failures to another.This in no way concerns the personality of the one who is offended. You need to show sympathy for this person and not hold a grudge against him.
- It is also worth distinguishing for what purpose certain words of the interlocutor were said. For example, if the sarcastic jokes of others appeared in response to a person's story about a successful purchase, consider whether this is a manifestation of ordinary envy. You certainly shouldn't be offended by this.
- It is important for a sensitive person how he looks in the eyes of others. Therefore, if they try to insult him publicly, he should remind himself that in this situation it is not he who looks more disadvantageous and stupid, but just the offender. not worth it, but it is also not recommended to be silent. It is necessary to calmly and with dignity note the incorrectness of the opponent’s remark and not continue the conversation in such a manner and atmosphere.
- You don't have to wait for everyone's approval. Especially the unfamiliar. A person who is learning how not to take everything personally, first of all, should take care of his own self-esteem. A self-confident person is able to independently evaluate his successes, he can encourage and criticize himself. He does not need an outside opinion for this. You should even try to forget the praise of an outsider as soon as possible so that in the future you will not be guided in your actions by such approval. Self-development is the path to self-sufficiency.
Living a New Way: Useful Attitudes
In the list of tips on how not to take everything personally, there should be certain attitudes or habits of acting and thinking in stressful situations:
- Use of jokes. Developed often allows you to translate the brewing conflict into the plane of a joke. And a person who is able to laugh at himself discourages any desire to do it to others.
- Ability to distinguish between constructive and non-constructive criticism. The second has already been discussed above, and the first should be perceived as an opportunity for one's own growth and development goals.
- Before learning not to take anything to heart, a person must analyze their own patterns of behavior. It happens that being offended is a way to attract attention, to cause guilt in another, manipulation. In this case, it is worth getting rid of the root cause - a sense of one's own inferiority, which provokes resentment.
- Find an outlet for yourself (a place, a favorite pastime), which will help to cope with negative experiences.
In conclusion
Each person is unique. And you should not try to fit this uniqueness into the generally accepted framework. Much more important is to learn how to use your strengths and work on the shortcomings.
If a person is sensitive, this does not mean that he should become more pragmatic. He should use this quality where others cannot, for example, in creativity. And work on confidence and the ability to stand up for yourself. It is in this case that a person will be able to find the long-awaited harmony with himself.